Bad Mood Rising....

A mood can create a climate for the day, both for the person with the mood and for those around them. If you are with someone who is elated it quickly becomes contagious, but if you are with someone smothered by a black cloud it’s hard not to get sucked into their gloom. What were the messages you received about moods during your childhood and what messages do you send your children now? Was it OK to feel frustrated, annoyed or sad sometimes and do you allow your children to have these moods too? We need to ensure that our children have the chance to grow up in a peaceful and hopefully predominately happy household, but it is also important to model to children that moods are normal and acceptable. It’s OK to be cranky and sad sometimes, as long as we show our children that we can manage and resolve these moods. There can be many reasons why we may experience a bad mood. Sleep deprivation is a big one, as any parent will tell you. So are stress, chronic pain and illness. A bad mood can also be used as a way of communicating with others what’s going on: your partner hasn’t put the bin out; it’s the fifth time you have asked your child to do their homework . . . maybe the last resort can be a huff. It might work to bring about change in the other person sometimes, but it can become a problem in itself, as communicating with moods rather than words can become a habit. And then there’s the problem of how your mood affects others. Is being grumpy with your partner because you feel they aren’t being kind to you really going to engender the reaction that you want? Or instead are they going to become annoyed in response to your annoyance? And so begins the vicious cycle. If we learn to say what we need to say, or find other ways of saying it so it is heard, we might just get what we need without having to resort to a mood and spreading it around.

Tarnya Davis is a clinical psychologist and principal of NewPsych Psychologists. Ph: (02) 4926 5005. www.newpsych.com.au