Alcohol
“Can I get you a glass of wine, mummy?” asked my four year old. Maybe he recognised I was particularly stressed and tired that day, and was practicing being kind, but I felt uneasy and was a left with a confronting thought - How was witnessing my occasional evening wine impacting upon him? And are we sending the message to our children that drinking is a way of managing stress?
When my grandparents were married there were 12 bottles of beer of the wedding and 10 came home. Now in the space of two generations, alcohol is a part of most people’s family and social gatherings and for many families something that is a part of most days at home.
Alcohol abuse is wide spread in our community and impacts upon children directly through intoxicated parents being unable to care for their children and indirectly through the increased risk of domestic violence and physical and sexual assault. There is no question that alcohol misuse effects people’s health, finances, psychological state, relationships and families.
Children who drink alcohol before the age of 15 years are more than five times more likely that those who start after 18 to have alcohol problems as an adult and it seems that we can start to change this well before their teens’.
Research suggests that parents’ drinking habits, rather than advertising or peers have the most impact on a child’s future alcohol consumption. The recent Drinkwise campaign asks us to consider how we use alcohol as parents and how this affects our children, with the ultimate goal of making it uncool in the next generation to get drunk. It asks parents to consider not just how alcohol affects us physically, but the situations in which we use alcohol and the messages we send children about alcohol.
Do we inadvertently suggest that a drink is something we “need” when we are stressed and reach for a drink? Could our children, ever absorbing and noticing sponges, notice and connect the two, even without our comment? Do we send the message that we need alcohol at every social occasion? What have you told your children about alcohol and do you know what they have worked out for themselves?
Maybe parents and the community could consider starting to educate children about safe alcohol use from childhood, rather than waiting until they are teenagers, when we are frightened of the consequence of it’s misuse.
Also, if we take better care of ourselves and learn healthier ways of managing stress, we send the message to our children that drinking is a pleasure, but there are multitudes of ways we can relax and join with others both with and without it.
Tarnya Davis is a clinical psychologist and principal of NewPsych Psychologists. Ph: (02) 4926 5005. www.newpsych.com.au