A Time for Relection....

My life has been affected by the recent deaths of two young women. Both lost their lives to illnesses and both left grieving husbands, children, parents, siblings, friends and colleagues bereft and devastated.

It is harder to keep up the denial of our own death when we are faced with the death of others. We tend to think that we may have decades ahead, but we can’t know for sure and what do we do with this reality?

When someone dies it can be a time to examine our own lives. Socrates said “an examined life is not worth living” and it is the process of examining that reminds us of what life is really about.

With our busy lives, full of work, study, family and the many commitments expected of people these days, we often fail to make the space for reflection. With barely enough time in our day for the tasks of life, we don’t often take time to ask the bigger questions.

The grieving families and friends of these young women hope the loss leaves a legacy for those left behind to lead happier lives.

We can consider how we could live more often as if there was no tomorrow, but also make changes to improve our health and maybe our odds for a longer life. We can ponder whether we could live more closely to our values and if we could, what we would change.

It is difficult to change and part of the difficulty is remembering to remember. Changing the way we work, eat, drink, exercise, relate to others and communicate are all challenges and it can be easier to slip back into habits that are more comfortable than persevere with the energy needed for change. Especially if you already feel stretched by the demands of every day.

As well as asking what you would change, it is important to ask what would be the consequences of not changing. How would things be for you if life continued on as it is?

We have the saying “life’s too short to …” and usually use it to remind us not to get caught up in the trivial or become weighed down by unhelpful thoughts or worries.

Contemplating death can give us the liberation to live our lives to the fullest and remember to appreciate each day. If today was your last, how differently would you choose spend it?

Tarnya Davis is a clinical psychologist and principal of NewPsych Psychologists. ph: (02) 4926 5005. www.newpsych.com.au